Do you like asking for help? yes or no? (why?) (my facebook discussion)

[ahka]

Do you like asking for help? yes or no? (why?)

Most of the people I asked around said NO and the reasons were similar:

1. don’t want to bother others; (nice try to think abt others but is it really good for them not to bother?)
2. want to do it all by myself; (want to show off as a super-being, afraid of being needy)
3. It makes ppl feel vulnerable to admit that they can't do it without help
4. ppl are afraid that they wouldn't help or wouldn't do a good job.

The truth is we can't do everything by ourselves.  We ideally can aim at being like a super-being.
By asking people for help, we open the doors for wonderful energy! We give others opportunity to do a good deed, to do something meaningful and helpful. It usually makes ppl feel needed, they feel good during and after helping. It develops better relationship, better friendship.  It is a key to a good strong relationship, to be vulnerable and be accepted by the other (s) even in that state.

If you think of more benefits in asking for help let me know!!! Don't be afraid to ask for help!!! (it applies to myself too, it is so hard to do!!!)
As always, there must be reasonable boundaries and balance = be tactful.

Comments

[ygalperina.livejournal.com]

There are other things that are in the way to ask for help. Some people don't know they need help (are in denial, or don't know otherwise). One example: abusive relationship when a person doesn't realize that his/her identity is being suppressed.
How do you check if you need help or not?

[agusovsky.livejournal.com]

The signs to ask for help are:
1. When you feel stuck
2. feel helpless,
3. when you can't do it yourself
4. when feeling overwhelmed
5. run out of solutions on your own
6. run out of ideas and resources (or getting close to running out of resources)
7. when you want to give a friend an opportunity to help you
8. when you want to honor someone's skills by asking for expert advice
9.
What else?

It is better to ask for help before the situation went too far but again, self awareness is a tricky thing...
The abusive relationship is cyclical and there is manipulation and fear involved. It is a science to deal with individuals who have been abused.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_milashka/]

That's the one thing I have learned how to do - ask for help. You're right, it's very hard, but it's worth it. Really makes you grow.

[agusovsky.livejournal.com]

:) yes!