ahka | important parenting rule to remember

Yesterday, I took kids to the library. I had to pick up my book and Michael had some ideas about books to look at. Michelle (18m) loves this library and feels like it is her home. So, last night she started running away from me and very loudly giggling. It was very cute and funny, only people were distracted from what they were doing in quite areas of the library.

Since Michelle is not talking much, her communication consists of making loud noises and very expressive faces. She started grabbing books from the shelves, run around with the book and then drop it. I was running after her and that just added excitement for her, so she again started making very loud noises.

As people were destructed by her, most of them were smiling, some were irritated. I started thinking about how am I going to catch her and not make it louder then it is already. I know she can scream and for a long time. So, I decided to practice this simple rule with the kids.

Kids do not like unexpected surprises and being taken over by adults who are stronger and taller. So, the rule is to always tell child what is going to happen next, give a few seconds to settle it in and do exactly as you explained it in simple words (appropriate to the child developmental level). Basically, give the kid heads up to let child finish what he/she was doing!

I told Michelle that it is time to put the book back on the shelf, start looking for her big brother Michael and get ready to go home. She found a table, put the book on it and started turning pages. I let her look at the book patiently and told her that it is time to leave the book here and find Michael. She had no problem letting the book on the table, gave me her hand and we walked to the shelves where Michael was looking at soccer books.

He got one book and we walked out of the library without any noises. I was scared that it may not work but it did work again.

I observe this trick working in most of the cases at work when clients bring kids with. Before the session is over, I would tell the kid to finish up playing and helping put the toys back. Then, I still continue working with the parent for a short while and kid is getting ready to leave.

It still works with Michael too. I just need to tell him it is time to finish up his activity and we have to do something or go somewhere, in a few minutes without any problems he would be ready.

On some occasions, when I forget about this simple rule, it usually costing me nerves and my hearing with both, M&M.

Harmony Theatre & School -- Children's theater in MN