ahka: (Default)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] veronikahlebova at О сопротивлении и материнстве
У меня много сопротивления.
Точнее, сейчас я отлично вижу, как его много.
Я сопротивляюсь новому и неизведанному, я сопротивляюсь чуждым мне ценностям, я сопротивляюсь развитию, предпочитая оставаться в безопасности.

Это сопротивление-напряжение, сигнализирующее о встрече с тем,
Что выходит за пределы моего комфорта,
С тем, что я не готова принять – пока не готова, или совсем не готова.

Но сейчас мне хочется рассказать о другом сопротивлении, с которым я встречаюсь не реже.
О сопротивлении, которое возникает в ответ на внутреннее насилие.

Эту связку – насилие-сопротивление – лучше всего иллюстрируют мамочки,
Которые приносят себя в жертву своим детям, и которых так много среди моих клиенток.
Read more... )
chegohochu
ahka: (Default)
Приехав домой я поняла что до захода солнца нам не добраться до людей которые нас пригласили на шаббат.  Я зажгла свечи дома, мы собрались и долго добирались через всякие пробки на дорогах.  Детей оставили бабушкам с дедушками с ночёвкой.  Шаббат проходил хорошо, мы вкусно поели, поболтали, посмеялись и к 9ти вечера пришел раввин Трахман из Чикаго.  Фамилия у него просто прикол, особенно после прослушивания рекламки от чикагского русского радио на днях меня на хихи пробивало.

Пришли ещё люди и он начал лекцию.  Загрузил по уши, было интересно и я даже что-то квакала, вопросы задавала и отвечала на его вопросы.  Он начал с темы о том что/кто Всевышний и как он скрыт и непонятен нам и почему нам надо стремиться жить этично и морально что значит хорошо а не плохо.  Это были философские темы, было интересно слушать и мозгами шевелить но потом он меня просто убил наповал.  Тут я пожалела что мой муж присутствовал на этой лекции.  

Раввин Трахман стал рассказывать о том кто такие муж и жена, что тоже было интересно слушать до тех пор пока он не зарулил в сторону и не сообщил всем присутствующим что женщины не понимают на сколько тяжело быть мужчиной и что мужей надо благодарить и молиться на них только за то что они нас выбрали и остановились на нас а не продолжают ходить по разным бабам без толку.  Раввин конечно объяснил что мужчины должны стремиться быть как Всевышний тем что они должны давать своим женам и не ждать ничего в замен, что для мужчин которые не изучают Тору это очень тяжело а порой даже и не возможно.  О этом я немного даже поспорила с ним приводя пример моих и других Советских родителей которые к Торе мало имеют отношения, но дают своим женам всё что могут дать.

Моему мужу очень понравилась эта лекция а мне не очень.  Я застопорилась на идее о "бедненьких" женатых мужчинах! Я  понимаю что в этом есть правда, но что-то тут что меня очень задело... Я не знаю почему, но меня до сих пор немного это выводит из себя, даже не знаю почему у меня такая башенная реакция на этот комментарий.  Надо подумать и разобраться....  у кого-то есть комментарии?
ahka: (Default)
Приехав домой я поняла что до захода солнца нам не добраться до людей которые нас пригласили на шаббат.  Я зажгла свечи дома, мы собрались и долго добирались через всякие пробки на дорогах.  Детей оставили бабушкам с дедушками с ночёвкой.  Шаббат проходил хорошо, мы вкусно поели, поболтали, посмеялись и к 9ти вечера пришел раввин Трахман из Чикаго.  Фамилия у него просто прикол, особенно после прослушивания рекламки от чикагского русского радио на днях меня на хихи пробивало.

Пришли ещё люди и он начал лекцию.  Загрузил по уши, было интересно и я даже что-то квакала, вопросы задавала и отвечала на его вопросы.  Он начал с темы о том что/кто Всевышний и как он скрыт и непонятен нам и почему нам надо стремиться жить этично и морально что значит хорошо а не плохо.  Это были философские темы, было интересно слушать и мозгами шевелить но потом он меня просто убил наповал.  Тут я пожалела что мой муж присутствовал на этой лекции.  

Раввин Трахман стал рассказывать о том кто такие муж и жена, что тоже было интересно слушать до тех пор пока он не зарулил в сторону и не сообщил всем присутствующим что женщины не понимают на сколько тяжело быть мужчиной и что мужей надо благодарить и молиться на них только за то что они нас выбрали и остановились на нас а не продолжают ходить по разным бабам без толку.  Раввин конечно объяснил что мужчины должны стремиться быть как Всевышний тем что они должны давать своим женам и не ждать ничего в замен, что для мужчин которые не изучают Тору это очень тяжело а порой даже и не возможно.  О этом я немного даже поспорила с ним приводя пример моих и других Советских родителей которые к Торе мало имеют отношения, но дают своим женам всё что могут дать.

Моему мужу очень понравилась эта лекция а мне не очень.  Я застопорилась на идее о "бедненьких" женатых мужчинах! Я  понимаю что в этом есть правда, но что-то тут что меня очень задело... Я не знаю почему, но меня до сих пор немного это выводит из себя, даже не знаю почему у меня такая башенная реакция на этот комментарий.  Надо подумать и разобраться....  у кого-то есть комментарии?
ahka: (Default)

о женщинах:


о мужчинах:
ahka: (Default)

о женщинах:


о мужчинах:
ahka: (Default)
It has been a week since I got back home from this amazing trip to Israel.  I was in a wonderful mood and happy to go home see my husband, my kids and share my wonderful energy with them.  As I walked into the house, my energy was stopped dead.  It was a total mess in the house.  There was a huge pile of dirty dishes in the sink, stuff, clothes, and toys all over the place.  The house looked dark and sad.    I just saw how much work is ahead of me.  I was a little bit upset; I was upset at my husband, yet I swallowed my anger, and started straightening up the house, toy by toy, dish by dish. 

In the process of cleaning and washing dishes, I realized that my husband was probably upset that I was on vacation without him and (I hope he is not going to be upset if I use this analogy)he was behaving just like dogs do when they are upset about being home alone and would sometimes mess up the house.  I would have been as upset too if he would've gone on such a wonderful trip without me, I wouldn't mess the house but still...  Also, I realized how important I Am in the house!!!  When I am not home, it has no soul! 

It took me all day of cleaning and cooking.  I still had a jet leg.  I crashed by 8:30pm.  I offered my daughter to go to bed with me, because I had no more energy to deal with her night routine.  She agreed but after lying with me for some time she got bored and was not sleepy yet, I allowed her to go downstairs and be with daddy and her brother.

My husband took care of putting kids to beds and I was grateful for his help.  In the morning, I drove kids to the daycare and school, stopped at the grocery store and did some shopping, came home to finish cleaning and cooking that I started the other day.  I made some French toast for my husband for breakfast and started to see and smell the light in the house.  By this moment, I liked being in my clean house with wonderful smells of the food that I was making.  I could see that if it was not for me, the house would’ve been dark and empty without a soul.

I tried and still trying to keep my excitement about the trip low key.  As appropriate, I use some of my knowledge and introduce it to my husband and kids. 

There were a few dramatic things that happened in 2 days after I got home that actually improved our relationship, one with my husband and one with my son. 
ahka: (Default)
It has been a week since I got back home from this amazing trip to Israel.  I was in a wonderful mood and happy to go home see my husband, my kids and share my wonderful energy with them.  As I walked into the house, my energy was stopped dead.  It was a total mess in the house.  There was a huge pile of dirty dishes in the sink, stuff, clothes, and toys all over the place.  The house looked dark and sad.    I just saw how much work is ahead of me.  I was a little bit upset; I was upset at my husband, yet I swallowed my anger, and started straightening up the house, toy by toy, dish by dish. 

In the process of cleaning and washing dishes, I realized that my husband was probably upset that I was on vacation without him and (I hope he is not going to be upset if I use this analogy)he was behaving just like dogs do when they are upset about being home alone and would sometimes mess up the house.  I would have been as upset too if he would've gone on such a wonderful trip without me, I wouldn't mess the house but still...  Also, I realized how important I Am in the house!!!  When I am not home, it has no soul! 

It took me all day of cleaning and cooking.  I still had a jet leg.  I crashed by 8:30pm.  I offered my daughter to go to bed with me, because I had no more energy to deal with her night routine.  She agreed but after lying with me for some time she got bored and was not sleepy yet, I allowed her to go downstairs and be with daddy and her brother.

My husband took care of putting kids to beds and I was grateful for his help.  In the morning, I drove kids to the daycare and school, stopped at the grocery store and did some shopping, came home to finish cleaning and cooking that I started the other day.  I made some French toast for my husband for breakfast and started to see and smell the light in the house.  By this moment, I liked being in my clean house with wonderful smells of the food that I was making.  I could see that if it was not for me, the house would’ve been dark and empty without a soul.

I tried and still trying to keep my excitement about the trip low key.  As appropriate, I use some of my knowledge and introduce it to my husband and kids. 

There were a few dramatic things that happened in 2 days after I got home that actually improved our relationship, one with my husband and one with my son. 
ahka: (Default)
На выходных я записалась на уроки Йоги, начиная с этого понедельника и до середины декабря.  Очень не дорого ($5 за урок -14 уроков) и близко от дома.  Этот класс для людей с опытом и я немного нервничала перед первым уроком, так как особо Йогой не занималась; так на несколько классов ходила когда у нас в колледже во время перерыва бесплатные классы были.  Но в общем думала что ничего страшного, так как мне легко повторять движения за другими людьми.

Read more... )
ahka: (Default)
На выходных я записалась на уроки Йоги, начиная с этого понедельника и до середины декабря.  Очень не дорого ($5 за урок -14 уроков) и близко от дома.  Этот класс для людей с опытом и я немного нервничала перед первым уроком, так как особо Йогой не занималась; так на несколько классов ходила когда у нас в колледже во время перерыва бесплатные классы были.  Но в общем думала что ничего страшного, так как мне легко повторять движения за другими людьми.

Read more... )
ahka: (Default)

Women tend to worry about everything and making our lives miserable.  Is there really a perfect balance to our lives? Is it possible? Are there man that provide tremendous help? Or do we need to check our heads?  Prioritize the worries?  Or what?  Just stop caring and forget about everyone?

It seems that my family functions on my memory, remembering when? Who? What? Where everything is? It also functions on my common sense, for example that kids need to eat, put the hat when going outside on the really hot sunny day, dirty dishes should be washed, mess in the house should be cleaned up, or someone needs to take a little one on the potty or change her diaper.  If I don’t do it myself or command to do any of those things, nothing is done.

I know that women are naturally multi tasking creatures and mostly we don’t even think about the amount of activities that we are involved in on the daily basis.  Womenly belly dance is a good example of our multi tasking layering abilities.  In belly dance we learn to do isolations of various body parts, we can do hip shimmies while walking and turning  plus making arm waves with shoulder shimmies on top of that with smiles on our faces and eye sparkles.   

Doesn’t it sound familiar? We work, we take care of our families, our homes, ourselves, cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids, parents, we find information, we communicate, we do so much that at some times just wishing to be praised for a good job of juggling or shimmying all of those things.  Once in a while we might get appreciated but in others our men don’t even realize how much and what is going on in our heads all the time.  They only notice when the system stops working properly and we forget something.    

Layer on top of that worries about your parents, who unfortunately are not getting younger and healthier and all of their problems that mostly caused by worrying about us -- their kids.

Women! How are we doing it all and why?

ahka: (Default)

Women tend to worry about everything and making our lives miserable.  Is there really a perfect balance to our lives? Is it possible? Are there man that provide tremendous help? Or do we need to check our heads?  Prioritize the worries?  Or what?  Just stop caring and forget about everyone?

It seems that my family functions on my memory, remembering when? Who? What? Where everything is? It also functions on my common sense, for example that kids need to eat, put the hat when going outside on the really hot sunny day, dirty dishes should be washed, mess in the house should be cleaned up, or someone needs to take a little one on the potty or change her diaper.  If I don’t do it myself or command to do any of those things, nothing is done.

I know that women are naturally multi tasking creatures and mostly we don’t even think about the amount of activities that we are involved in on the daily basis.  Womenly belly dance is a good example of our multi tasking layering abilities.  In belly dance we learn to do isolations of various body parts, we can do hip shimmies while walking and turning  plus making arm waves with shoulder shimmies on top of that with smiles on our faces and eye sparkles.   

Doesn’t it sound familiar? We work, we take care of our families, our homes, ourselves, cooking, cleaning, laundry, kids, parents, we find information, we communicate, we do so much that at some times just wishing to be praised for a good job of juggling or shimmying all of those things.  Once in a while we might get appreciated but in others our men don’t even realize how much and what is going on in our heads all the time.  They only notice when the system stops working properly and we forget something.    

Layer on top of that worries about your parents, who unfortunately are not getting younger and healthier and all of their problems that mostly caused by worrying about us -- their kids.

Women! How are we doing it all and why?

ahka: (Default)

Finally, my girlfriend and I found a few hours to watch The King’s speech without being interrupted by our kids or husbands.  It is a great movie and I would recommend people to watch it.  I really want to watch it again with my 8 year old.  I know there is some inappropriate language but I guess that might even attract him even more to watching it.

I was thinking about my life parallels and I am sure that everyone can relate to this story in one way or the other.  We all had some obstacles in our lives that made us think that we won’t be able to overcome but apparently, life puts us in the situations that we have no choice but overcome our shortcomings. It also pointed out that we need to count our blessings!

Yes, having a good friend who can listen is important and yes, men are so stubborn (that’s probably why married women have more sophisticated way of thinking, they have to constantly figure out how to get our man agree on something that they disagree at first. :)  )

ahka: (Default)

Finally, my girlfriend and I found a few hours to watch The King’s speech without being interrupted by our kids or husbands.  It is a great movie and I would recommend people to watch it.  I really want to watch it again with my 8 year old.  I know there is some inappropriate language but I guess that might even attract him even more to watching it.

I was thinking about my life parallels and I am sure that everyone can relate to this story in one way or the other.  We all had some obstacles in our lives that made us think that we won’t be able to overcome but apparently, life puts us in the situations that we have no choice but overcome our shortcomings. It also pointed out that we need to count our blessings!

Yes, having a good friend who can listen is important and yes, men are so stubborn (that’s probably why married women have more sophisticated way of thinking, they have to constantly figure out how to get our man agree on something that they disagree at first. :)  )

ahka: (Default)

MN Fringe festival presented hundreds of shows this year as usually.  This year I managed to see two shows by Harmony Theatre Company and School and by Maddak Productions.

Harmony Theatre Company and School presented The Little Prince story by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.  It is a wonderful story that many people love.  If you have not read it, please read the story!  It is a fairytale for adults.  The play was wonderful considering that majority of the cast consisted of children. 

Many parts of the play deeply touched me.  It made me laugh and even cry at some moments.  I just wished that some kids had microphones because I couldn’t hear what they were saying.  Since I read the story recently, I understood the context but for people who did not know the story it was disappointing.  Especially the snake character, he had an awesome costume with yellow helmet.  The helmet made the sound even more buffered.

Michael (7) did not understand the play but enjoyed seeing the actors.  He knew almost everyone in the cast and was excited to tell me their names.  I read the story to him a few weeks before the show and he did not understand it and thought that it was very boring.  So, yes, it is a fairytale for adults, since it raises a lot of adult issues.  Michael went to see Harmony Theatre show last year, while they presented radio drama, he said that he liked that show better then this one.

Maddak Productions presented Finding a Fit.  I went to see this show because my friend’s client was in it and it sounded like a fun show to see.  There were only 4 actresses with very good voices and the theater was very small.  That was my first time in that theatre space -- Theatre in the Round.  It was perfect for this performance.  It was a comedy musical about women’s issue of finding clothes to wear every morning and for every occasion.  As a woman I could relate to almost all the scenes.

I went to see both shows with my girlfriend.  The show by Harmony Theatre Company and School we took our kids with and the show by Maddak Productions it was just two of us – girls’ night out.

Next year, I will try to see more shows.

ahka: (Default)

MN Fringe festival presented hundreds of shows this year as usually.  This year I managed to see two shows by Harmony Theatre Company and School and by Maddak Productions.

Harmony Theatre Company and School presented The Little Prince story by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.  It is a wonderful story that many people love.  If you have not read it, please read the story!  It is a fairytale for adults.  The play was wonderful considering that majority of the cast consisted of children. 

Many parts of the play deeply touched me.  It made me laugh and even cry at some moments.  I just wished that some kids had microphones because I couldn’t hear what they were saying.  Since I read the story recently, I understood the context but for people who did not know the story it was disappointing.  Especially the snake character, he had an awesome costume with yellow helmet.  The helmet made the sound even more buffered.

Michael (7) did not understand the play but enjoyed seeing the actors.  He knew almost everyone in the cast and was excited to tell me their names.  I read the story to him a few weeks before the show and he did not understand it and thought that it was very boring.  So, yes, it is a fairytale for adults, since it raises a lot of adult issues.  Michael went to see Harmony Theatre show last year, while they presented radio drama, he said that he liked that show better then this one.

Maddak Productions presented Finding a Fit.  I went to see this show because my friend’s client was in it and it sounded like a fun show to see.  There were only 4 actresses with very good voices and the theater was very small.  That was my first time in that theatre space -- Theatre in the Round.  It was perfect for this performance.  It was a comedy musical about women’s issue of finding clothes to wear every morning and for every occasion.  As a woman I could relate to almost all the scenes.

I went to see both shows with my girlfriend.  The show by Harmony Theatre Company and School we took our kids with and the show by Maddak Productions it was just two of us – girls’ night out.

Next year, I will try to see more shows.

ahka: (Default)
I have heard about belly rolling coins but have never seen it.  Here is a chance to see a dancer who rolls 9 quarters all together and one by one and THEN Every other coin!!! Wow!!!  I should try that! he he :)
ahka: (Default)
I have heard about belly rolling coins but have never seen it.  Here is a chance to see a dancer who rolls 9 quarters all together and one by one and THEN Every other coin!!! Wow!!!  I should try that! he he :)
ahka: (Default)

Yesterday, I read a chapter from a book about women’s nature (in Russian by [livejournal.com profile] jewish_book  ).  I was surprised to see one statement.  I was not surprised by the statement itself but by the fact that I have never read it anywhere before. 

The statement was about difference between men and women.  It stated that woman’s physical strength is only 55% of man’s.  Also, woman’s endurance is 65% in comparison to man’s.  Therefore, women get tired more often than men do, and also women usually need more sleep then men.

Another good point, stated that when man marries a woman, he marries 3 women: one normal, one during PMS, and one pregnant.  Then it goes into more details why.

This chapter and probably the whole book could be a good resource for many men who want to understand women better.

ahka: (Default)

Yesterday, I read a chapter from a book about women’s nature (in Russian by [livejournal.com profile] jewish_book  ).  I was surprised to see one statement.  I was not surprised by the statement itself but by the fact that I have never read it anywhere before. 

The statement was about difference between men and women.  It stated that woman’s physical strength is only 55% of man’s.  Also, woman’s endurance is 65% in comparison to man’s.  Therefore, women get tired more often than men do, and also women usually need more sleep then men.

Another good point, stated that when man marries a woman, he marries 3 women: one normal, one during PMS, and one pregnant.  Then it goes into more details why.

This chapter and probably the whole book could be a good resource for many men who want to understand women better.

ahka: (Default)

I have been suffering from brain overload lately.  Well, I have been doing it to myself.  It is very interesting and I really enjoy reading, thinking, and listening to the lectures but I guess my brain has very small capacity to process it and requires brakes and some nutrients.  In addition to all my regular activities, I added lectures that I listen in the car.  It is very interesting, but my brain needs to get used to this overload.

All intellectual stuff that I love, lately, started causing me feeling of guilt and annoyance.  I am guilty because I want to take time to read, think and listen to the lectures while I need to spend time with kids and I am annoyed when I am with kids because they don’t allow me to concentrate to think, read and listen. 

I need to separate and enjoy time with kids and time with thoughts.  While with kids, I should be 100% with kids and find place and time to be %100 with thoughts. 
Everything must have limit and balance!    
That would give the balance to my brain not to get overloaded, and will remove my feelings of guilt and annoyance.

Brilliant!

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